I have to admit, I truly love my guardian angel sometimes….because the most brilliant lessons are gleaned from the utterly horrible experiences through which I go.
With that as a spine-tinglingly enticing way to start today's post, let me explain.
As I had mentioned yesterday, I happily failed more spectacularly than the blazing sons of over-indulged Hollywood children….and I was earlobe deep into reinventing how I do business online.
This morning, I dashed myself awake at 4am (yay! Getting back into effective working, woot!) and continued my overall planning and actions. At 6am, it was time to rouse my clan of Magnificent Ling Kids, and start their day as well.
Well! And what did I spy with my little eye?
Yes indeed, it was the laundry room existing in a state more disaster-prone than NJ baseball fields after Hurricane Irene.
ie, something like….this.
Imagine that in your laundry room….and you'll comprehend a wee bit of the emotions that flooded thru my very being.
But! Instead of screaming my head off, which I never do…I instead spoke very quietly to my children about their lack of wisdom.
And afterwards, I idly commented to HS1,
You know, it would be soo much easier if I was the kind of parent who screamed my head off.
He responded,
Yep, it would be so much easier too if I was the kind of kid who screamed my head off in response, too!
I had to smile!
My husband came up shortly afterwards, and we all indulged in a rather awesome breakfast:
I explained to my Better Half the discussion that had erupted earlier, and he….told…me…..
THIS.
"The thing about getting and staying mad at yourself is that you're depriving yourself of the ability to move ahead.
When you dwell, you root yourself in the past, but the thing is, you can never change that! It's over, it's done, and all you can ask yourself is, "Sure it's a painful experience, but what have I learned?"
He then returned to eating while our son and I looked at each other.
Now, true, his philosophy is very similar to mine (I always view making mistakes as our guardian angels' way of bashing us in the head and saying, "Yo! Learn this lesson!") but I will confess…
I never really did consider the "rooted in the past" aspect.
Apply this now to your children, aye?
Have you ever seen them so focused on regret or anger or what have you….that they become immobilized and unable to move forward?
That's not good *at all!*
When we as parents allow our kids to imitate The Dreaded Sunken Mushroom Of Doom and Despair for more than a few minutes, we're witnessing them wasting their future.
True, every person should have the ability to mourn their loss…but…. (and stay with me here, this is critical), they also need to learn how to "let go."
In other words,
- Do *your* kids know how to let go?
- Do your kids witness you letting go?
- Do your kids understand how the excessive beating of oneself up can really do massive damage to their future self-confidence?
If not, that's one lesson you truly *want* to embed into your kids so indelibly that when they dream about their failures, they dream of the future successes that will come from them.
Always model the way you want your children to grow!
It will greatly help their self-confidence indeed.
Parent powerfully,
— MamaBear
ps – speaking about self-confidence, have you seen:
