From the mailbag:
"Dear Mama Bear,
I gave birth to a wonderful boy who is now 6 months old.
I was so looking forward to being a mom! But right after the birth, it was like I had no connection at all to my son. 🙁 Sure, I'd feed him and change him but it was like I was taking care of someone else's baby.
I got some help with my boy and went back to work. Can you tell me if things will ever really get better?
Sincerely,
Donna R."
Dear DR,
Wait one moment right here and right now!
I have something you just plain *need* to hear.
And it's this.
It's going to be okay.
From what you shared, it looks like postpartum depression really worked a huge number on you, aye?
You're wise and smart to have gotten help!
MamaBear is well acquainted with postpartum depression; unless you really go through it yourself, you just cannot understand the utter lack of feeling and gloom and doom that settles over you like a suffocating lack of oxygen.
It's hell. Real and true hell.
In my case, I was very lucky; my postpartum depression did disappear and, well, as you can see, me and my kids (and my husband and my mooses and my Twitter budgies and my…) are the utter center of my life.
But yep, getting past it all….it's a personal hero's journey that is excruciating in the extreme.
Some things that might help include:
Right now you feel like you're spending time with your son because it's a chore and, well, it's what the world expects of you.
Yes? And?
The thing is, your son is so young, he will not remember your utter inability to let the true mother that's waiting patiently inside you….out.
Make yourself okay with your feelings…and do what you have to do.
I promise you, at *some* time, maybe not this week or month or next year but sometime…chances are, your feelings *will* start to change.
It doesn't have to be now, mind you. But sometime in the future, the world will right itself for you and your son once again.
Now, if instead you're considering physical damage to your son, that definitely is one huge bleeping red flag and you *need* to address that asap!
Did you know that there are groups for postpartum depression support?
They include:
- Postpartum Support International
- State-by-state Postpartum Depression Help
- Baby Blues
- Postpartum Depression Forum
And don't forget:
In closing, DR…
You're *not* alone with postpartum depression.
There's a slew of support networks out there but you *must* take the first step to take advantage of them.
And you can!
And you *will*.
Mamabear…believes in you.
Parent powerfully,
— MamaBear
